Love Dare, Day 6

by susansommers

Today is Day 6 of the Love Dare. I was recommended this book by a friend who did it with her husband leading up to their marriage about four years ago. I also watched the movie Fireproof, which is based on the Love Dare. It totally inspired me to push on in this relationship (I mean, it was the cheesiest, most Christian movie I’ve ever watched, but the point was there). In the movie, the couple is ready for divorce, and the husband has fallen out of love. **Spoiler Alert** the woman also engages in an emotional relationship with someone from her work as well. The husband’s father gives him the Love Dare book, and he uncomfortably sifts through it. Anyway, watch the movie, it will inspire you to follow the book with your husband/wife. It’s 40 days of “dares” that you must complete, and they are generally pretty simple. 

Today’s Dare is under the pretense that love is not irritable. Today’s chapter resonated so closely with my relationship, it gave me chills. It talks about lust, bitterness, and greed. First, I looked at my husband, and felt like the lust he created with the other woman has created great irritation in himself, whether he’s realized it or not. The bitterness he feels about our entire relationship has leaked as I’ve invited the criticism (which has caused a lot of hurtful back-and-forth). I’ve felt like he’s been greedy, wanting more for himself and not taking anything less (which is also creating great strain for me- how do I know if what I’m doing is enough?).

I think it’s important that I look at these three feelings for myself as well. My lust for success and importance in this world has created a lot of frustration and ANXIETY that I’ve taken out on my husband. Chris’ success at work has created a bitterness and anger that has made me resent and ignore him at times. And my greed for perfection has left me unfulfilled, constantly.

So, today’s dare is: “Choose today to start reacting to tough circumstances in your marriage with love instead of irritation.” Now, I’ve been really good about doing that in front of Chris, but I explode when I’m in my car or at work. I can’t help it, I’m used to controlling and I have no control over this situation. So today I’m going to stop myself when I get irritated with the “other woman” or the fact that he barely smiles when he sees me, and instead I’m going to keep coming at this relationship with love. 

This may be one of my more vulnerable days of this experience. Ever. There’s a 90% chance this marriage is over. Yet if there’s any chance, I need to be unconditional.