I follow a blog called “Growing Leaders” and he had some good reflection questions that I thought I could follow (more positive, more forward thinking than my last post):
What are my fondest memories of 2015? First, a lot of travels. My Sonoma trip with my sisters, Chicago and LA with friends, multiple trips to Denver to celebrate a friend, TURKEY of course. A trip to Suncadia for a wedding, featuring a logging festival the next day, a trip to San Francisco for another wedding, featuring a stay in the tenderloin district. A few trips to my parents cabin for relaxing and wine drinking.
There were smaller moments, like finding out my sister was pregnant, my first overnight hiking trip, the birth of my “nephew” (friend’s son), finding out more good friends were pregnant, my dad retiring. And while it was a scary and difficult decision, changing my employer was a fond memory because it really helped me grow. I’ve said this before, but the first moment I heard the call to prayer when I was in Istanbul was monumental. Sitting on a roof, staring at the Blue Mosque, sipping a cocktail and suddenly the most amazing voice screams out into the sky was surreal and beautiful. I had no idea what to expect out of Turkey and in the moment felt like I was at home.
What were the “big projects” I completed during the year? Coaching has given me a lot of big projects, including getting the team to state. Getting a new job at a place I wanted was a project I had worked on all year. I sold a house, got a divorce, and moved into a new place which were big projects. I stepped into a new role at my second job and learned a lot last year in it.
What were the defining moments during the last year? My husband asking for a divorce, calling him an asshole was fun too. Signing my home away the same day as my divorce paperwork, and having him walk into an elevator without a goodbye is a memory that is stamped in my mind. Having the guts to make some really difficult coaching decisions were defining and challenging. Moving out of my house and watching my whole life disappear was intense. It was so weird to get rid of most of my stuff: clothes, decorations, furniture. And on the flip side having all new stuff has been a defining moment: it’s been so wonderful to have a place that is 100% me.
What did I procrastinate on and fail to get done? I am still not 100% back into my mentoring. I am still not 100% motivated like I was 18 months ago. I didn’t really start dating, I keep hiding in my apartment or behind my family. I’ve been procrastinating and making excuses behind being nicer to myself. Sounds weird, but it’s something my therapist has told me to do and I think is going to be important in a new relationship. Yet I still tell myself “when I’m 5 pounds lighter or a little bit stronger” then I will begin to respect myself.
What books and mentors had the greatest impact on me? Why? Brene Brown had a huge impact on me. Especially seeing her live and reading Daring Greatly. My therapist had a huge impact on my overall mental health. 40 rules of love was also touching and eye opening.
Am I closer to my friends and family from my activities this year? I would say I’m closer but I could probably change my attitude. I feel like I’ve been more myself but also I’ve wanted to hide a lot more.
What will be my biggest goals as I move forward into 2016? Moving on. And buying a car. I need to really become happy and think forward. Even if I don’t know what forward is.
Where did I neglect to live up to the standards I set for myself? My motivation is still not there.
What am I committed to do this next year, to fulfill my “Life Sentence”? Grow as a mentor, as a big sister and auntie. Write more, be present.
The Spiritual Awakening 